


I Will Protect You, Timothy Drake

by OptimisticEmotion



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Family Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Multipersonalities, Subconscious Personified, There are more but they are barely there, at first, coma fic, it's just a dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8842618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticEmotion/pseuds/OptimisticEmotion
Summary: "Wake up," She begged. Her voice was low and soft, but it shook as if she had been crying her eyes out."What?" Tim was taken a back. Out of the corner of his eye he swore he could see Alvin glaring at her."Please, Tim, wake up." After that she turned around and started making up a cup of coffee. Tim was shocked, confused, and he could feel his heart slamming against his chest.---Tim loves his boyfriend, Alvin Draper, and he has a pretty decent life in the quiet city of Gotham. But he quickly becomes distressed as reality starts falling apart around him and he can't let go of the feeling that the answer to his questions is staring him in the face.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I actually dreamed the first half of this, which is what inspired most of the choppy feel to it. Funny thing about dreams. Sorry if it feels like I spoiled it for you, but yeah, it would have been pretty obvious from the start I think.

Tim stretched himself out as he woke up, feeling very much like a kitty-cat in the warm Saturday morning sun as it peeked it's way through the curtains and onto his bed. He didn't particularly want to get out of bed yet as he slowly let himself get use to being awake. It was the weekend and thus he didn't have anywhere to be that day; no work, no classes, no responsibilities. It was nice and he wanted to enjoy it. He wanted to savor it.

Speaking of savor, Tim couldn't help the smile that kept across his face as he sensed the savory aroma of freshly brewed coffee and perfectly sizzled bacon. He moved to sit up in the bed and greet the man at the bedroom door holding a small tray with breakfast. The man in question walked over and sat on the bed by Tim's side and gently handed the morning drink to the waking young man.

"Morning Tim," the man greeted with a smile of his own.

"Morning, Al." Tim leaned over to give his long time boyfriend, Alvin Draper, a small kiss on the cheek, before leaning back against the pillows. "So, what's the occasion?" He asked, referencing the breakfast in bed.

Alvin scratched the back of his head sheepishly and cleared his throat. "Well, I know you had a hard night last night, what with Mr. Wayne dumping all that paper work on you last minute before your day off. I just wanted treat you as a reward for all that hard work."

Tim couldn't help the grin Alvin's reply gave him. "You are just so sweet, you know that?" He asked. Alvin blushed at that and resettled himself on the bed.

"You know, I heard there's a new art exhibit showing at the church. Donation admittance. I figured that maybe we could go." Tim bit his lip to keep himself from cooing at his adorable boyfriend. Alvin was always asking him on dates like this and every time he looked like it was the first time he was asking Tim out. It made it impossible to say 'no'.

"Sounds like fun. Local artist?" Tim asked.

"Uh, yeah, someone named 'Damian Al Ghul'." Tim frowned at the name, something about it seemed wrong. "I hear he just moved to Gotham from out of the country."

"Huh, it's weird, I feel like I heard that name before, . . ." Tim bit his lip in concentration as he tried to mull it over. "I know a 'Damian' don't I?"

Alvin looked worried for a moment before he became confident, "You mean 'Damian Wayne'? You're Boss's kid?" He supplied.

"Oh!" Tim exclaimed, thinking it over. Now that Alvin mentioned it, he did remember meeting Bruce's son once or twice. The kid was an arrogant spoiled brat who tried to chase Tim down with a pair of scissors and a bottle of bleach. Weird how he completely forgot about that. Thankfully Alvin was there to remind him. "Let's hope that Damian Al Ghul isn't like Damian Wayne."

After eating breakfast and getting dressed, the couple were walking down Main Street straight toward Tim's favorite Coffee House. He loved it for so many things. It's atmosphere was perfect for studying, the clientele were all very easy to talk to and get along with, and the employee's were always so friendly. Especially the blonde girl behind the counter at that very moment. As the men walked up to the counter, Tim had to return the smile that Stephanie Brown was shining his way.

"Morning boys, and how's may favorite little caffeine addict?" Steph asked Tim with a laugh.

"He's having a good morning," Tim replied with a mischievous grin, "he even made me breakfast in bed."

"She was talking about you, Tim," Alvin laughed and gave his boyfriend a playful smack on the head.

"Oh, in that case, I'm doing spectacularly for someone who's only had one cup of coffee this morning," Tim corrected himself with a smile.

"Oh, gee, how could I have possibly not meant Alvin?" Steph joked with a deadpan and flat voice before she snickered and rang them up, "Two large coffees to go?"

"Yes, please," Tim nodded.

"It'll be right up, Boyfriend," Steph winked before making her way around the counter to get the coffee's poured. Tim frowned a little, why would Steph call him 'boyfriend'? He glanced over at Alvin to see his actual boyfriend's reaction. Alvin had that worried look on his face again.

"Oh, Steph, she'll never let you live down that one time you asked her out," he laughed. Suddenly the memories flooded back to him. Before he met Alvin he had asked the cute girl behind the counter on a date. She wasn't interested but said he did seem like good boyfriend material. He and Steph had been friends ever since, and ever since she always called him 'boyfriend' as a joke.

"Oh, right. Classic Stephanie, am I right?" Tim smiled. Alvin looked into Tim's eyes for a moment before his worried look relaxed and an easy smile found his face.

"Right," He agreed.

Next thing Tim knew, the two were walking up to the church to see the local artist's gallery showing. The church was small and the people at the door weren't really asking for much in the way of donation, so Tim and Al didn't really feel at unease by being there. Alvin took Tim's hand as the two looked over the art pieces before them. It was weird though, Tim thought, he couldn't really bring himself to focus on the art, and soon, he found himself instead looking over to the artist.

Damian Al Ghul was working the room with a polite smile and sharp eyes. He seemed to see Tim staring and was now walking over their way to greet him. "Welcome, are you enjoying the show so far?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, Alvin and I love seeing the fresh works of up and coming artists. These are really good," Tim motioned to the paintings before him.

"A long time and endless dedication committed to a skillfully honed craft. I'm glade you can appreciate the fruits of my labors." The way Damian spoke, Tim honestly had no clue if he was being sincere or if he was sincerely insulting Tim.

"Yeah, I can see it's well honed." Tim turned back from the artist, who gave a curt nod and walked on to greet someone else, and leaned into Alvin. "Hey, think we could go get some lunch, I am starved."

Alvin laughed and wrapped a protective arm around Tim's shoulders, "Sure, where do you want to go?"

In a blink of an eye, Tim found himself sitting across from Al in a familiar diner. They were sharing a booth by the window, sipping at milkshakes and munching on fries. They had both finished eating but neither ready to head home. Tim was taking this time to people watch as the other customers when about their business. There were a few kids from Tim's college across the diner; Cassie, Kon, Conner, and Bart. Tim and Alvin had already said hi to them before Rose, whom was also with them, had to leave. The twins, Kon and Conner, had been bothering her and she was nearly thrown out for trying to stab one of them in the eye with her butter knife. At the counter were a couple of cops one with glasses, gray hair, and a cookie duster mustache, the other was a lean young man with bright blue eyes and a terrific ass. Tim knew them from around town as Officer Grayson and Detective Gordon. Steph was also there in a different both with her adoptive sister Cassandra Cain. The two were eating waffles and giggling.

"This is strange." Tim didn't even realize it when he spoke, but the idea when straight from his mind out his mouth. The moment it did, Alvin snapped up to look at him. His expression looked like Tim had just slapped him.

"What's strange?" Alvin asked worriedly.

"I don't know. It's just, it's a little, you know, too peaceful, isn't it?" Tim asked.

Alvin looked at a lose for words, his eyes tracing Tim's face before he seemed to find his voice, "Isn't that why you moved to Gotham?" Tim blinked and felt like slapping his forehead. Alvin was right, he and his dad moved to Gotham out of Bludhaven after his mother died. That's also when his dad met Dana.

"You're right, I guess I just got a bit mixed up. Man, I've been doing that a lot lately," Tim frowned. He had a feeling like he really should be catching on to something, a trend, a pattern, or --hell-- even a giant billboard pointing out something is wrong.

"Maybe you're just over worked from your internship at Wayne Industries," Alvin offered.

"Probably. Think I'm ready to go home now. How about you?" Tim asked. Alvin gave that adorable, relieved smile and agreed.

The two walked into their shared apartment and made their way to their bed. Tim watched as Alvin settled down in the sheets, his loose green pajama bottoms bring a stray thought of green tights. He should see if he could get Alvin to wear green tights sometime. Tim looked back up to Al's face to see an expectant look, one brow high up.

Tim smiled and slowly crawled into the bed with him, back arching low like the kitty-cat he compared himself to that morning. Curling up against his boyfriend's side, Tim gave a very sleepy 'night' while Alvin held him close. Tim had to admit, despite a couple of things going wrong, it was a pretty fantastic day and a great way to start off his weekend. But there was still that little feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was wrong.

* * *

It felt like he had slept a wink. In fact, it felt like he merely blinked and it was morning. Tim wasn't feeling groggy or tired anymore, but he was pretty certain he hadn't slept. Then again, he had to have, considering how fast it went from night to day. He looked over to the other side of the bed to see that Alvin was already up and probably making breakfast.

Just then Tim heard the door open. He sat up to see Al there with a fresh cup of coffee. "He lives," Al joked as he handed the coffee off. "You were dead to the world last night, Mister." Well that explained that.

"Thanks. You're so good to me, bringing me my morning cup of coffee, I could get use to this," Tim teased.

"Might as well. You were so sound asleep I was curious to see if you would wake up to the smell alone. I think I just proved something amazing," Alvin's smile grew cocky and Tim rolled his eyes.

"I'm not that addicted, . . . much." Tim took a sip of the coffee in his hands, letting it warm him up with the morning sun.

"I'm thinking for today, we could have a picnic, what do you say?" Alvin asked, looking over to Tim. He was still so shy in his request Tim had to smile at him.

"Sounds like fun. We could-" Before Tim even finished his sentence he was walking with Alvin down Main Street, picnic basket in hand. He stopped suddenly. "What?"

"What? What is it Tim?" Alvin asked, worry dripping from each word.

"I, but I just, I was in the middle of-" Tim couldn't think of how to finish his sentence, he just stood there flabbergasted.

Alvin was quick to go to action. He took Tim by his arms and made eye contact as he spoke, "Tell me what's wrong Tim, and I can fix it."

"I don't remember leaving the apartment," Tim said in a small voice. "I just remember agreeing to go when-" Alvin gently placed a hand to either side of Tim's head as if to help anchor him.

"You agreed to the picnic, you suggested Robinson Park, we made the sandwiches together and packed everything neatly," Alvin reminded Tim. As Alvin said each thing, Tim remembered it. But Tim didn't know how to feel about that. Alvin looked extremely worried into his eyes. Tim realized this had to be scaring him too.

"I, you're right, I remember now," Tim nodded, "and we were going to stop by the coffee house on our way, right?" Alvin's worried look faded slowly into relief as they made their way to the cafe. Tim, desperate to seem normal, practically skipped to the counter to greet Stephanie.

"Hello Gorgeous, I think you know what I want," Tim teased, but Steph didn't laugh. She didn't even smile. The girl looked positively stricken as she gazed back at him. "Steph?"

"Wake up," She begged. Her voice was low and soft, but it shook as if she had been crying her eyes out.

"What?" Tim was taken a back. Out of the corner of his eye he swore he could see Alvin glaring at her.

"Please, Tim, wake up." After that she turned around and started making up a cup of coffee. Tim was shocked, confused, and he could feel his heart slamming against his chest. He looked over to Alvin, but the other man didn't seem to look like anything was wrong.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"What was what?" Alvin asked back.

"Steph," Tim almost growled, why was Alvin playing dumb? Didn't he hear it?

"What about me?" Stephanie asked as she bounded back to the counter, two cups of coffee to go.

"What where you saying about me needing to 'wake up'?" Tim felt like he was now in the middle of an interrogation.

Stephanie looked extremely confused and asked in a slow voice, "You mean when I said 'it looks like you don't need coffee to wake up today'?"

Tim stomach dropped, was that what everyone else heard. Maybe he was going insane? "Oh, sorry, I thought, I meant, uh, later Steph."

Tim all but snatched his coffee and marched out the door, blushing furiously in his embarrassment. Alvin was right behind him, worried look fully in place. Tim wasn't an idiot, he could tell something was wrong, but for the life of him he couldn't tell what. "Maybe I should go see a doctor or something," he suggested.

"Tim, are you sure?" Alvin asked, reaching over to twine his fingers with his boyfriend's hand.

"I don't know," Tim admitted. He let Alvin lead him the rest of the way to the park where they stretched out their blanket, red and white checkered pattern of course, and ate their lunch.

Halfway through the picnic Tim had all but forgotten about his worries. He was leaning back against Alvin as they watched Gothamites flying their kites or having their cook outs. Tim could see some of his college class mates playing frees-bee. This time it was Bernard, Darla, and Rachel Roth. For some reason that seemed a highly unlikely grouping but Tim didn't want to play with trying to figure out what the feeling of 'wrongness' was. Not right now when things were so nice.

After a while of sitting in the sun, Tim and Alvin agreed to go home. As Tim started to help pack everything up, he suddenly felt excruciating pain run right up his spine and spread to every nerve ending in his body. He fell to the ground and spasmed while Alvin rushed to his side. With a flash of light, Tim was no longer in sunny Robinson Park with Alvin. He was in the Batcave with Bruce and Damian trying to pin him back down to the medical bed.

"Alfred, reapply the morphine, now!" Bruce snapped.

"Yes Sir, right away." Alfred was moving out of Tim's eye sight.

"What do we do, Father?" Damian asked Bruce, his voice losing it's usual snide condescension.

"I don't know," Bruce admitted softly, his voice was almost lost among Tim's agonized wails. "We can't wake him up with chemical help if this is anything to go by."

"Will he ever wake up?" Damian looked to Tim, nearly loosing his hold on Tim's arm as the older boy tried to flail.

"I don't know." It was even quieter this time, and it was the last thing Tim remembered before he woke up in the hospital with a pounding headache.

"Tim!" Alvin was quick to rush to his side, "Oh my God, I was so scared." Tim couldn't reply as he sat up. His throat hurt from all the screaming he had just done. And what was with that dream? He didn't have long to think on it, though, as Alvin was now pulling him into a bone crushing embrace. "I was so scared that I might have lost you."

Tim could hear it now, the tears in Alvin's voice as he held his boyfriend close. "It's alright, I'm alright now." Tim tried to be comforting, but his words felt like lies even to himself. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat causing Alvin to reluctantly pull back from Tim. Tim's regular doctor, Dr. Alfred Pennyworth, stood there with a patient smile and a clip board. Alvin and Tim greeted the medical professional as he entered the room.

"How are you feeling today, Timothy?" Dr. Pennyworth asked.

"Tired, sore, embarrassed," Tim listed the big ones that were bothering him.

"I see. Have you had history of seizures before?" Dr. Pennyworth asked again. Seizure? THAT was a seizure?

"No, I've never had a seizure before," Tim replied.

"How about family history, any signs of epilepsy from either your mother or father's side?"

"Not that I know of." Tim bit his lip, he was pretty certain that was no seizure. Sure, he's never had one before, right? Of course not, he'd remember if he did. And since he doesn't, he knows that he didn't. So he wasn't one to argue with the Doc about a diagnosis. Maybe he should also mention the memory loss and hallucinations?

"I see, I am writing a prescription for Gabapentin and I want you back when it comes time for your refill to assess how the treatment is working for you." As Dr. Pennyworth spoke, he scribbled something down on his clip board before heading back out of the room.

Tim leaned back on the bed and let his head rest. He probably should have asked for something for his headache while the nice doctor was in the room. Alvin was now making obvious effort to not hover, but was mostly failing. Tim had to smile at that, and he reached out for his boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Al, that must have been terrifying for you."

"You have no idea, Tim," Alvin mumbled as he climbed in the bed with Tim. He leaned a head on Tim's shoulder, leading Tim to wrap his arm around Alvin's shoulders and start rubbing absent minded. They stayed like that for a while, it took a few minutes for Tim to realize that Alvin looked almost as exhausted as he felt, and that of course made him feel worse.

After Dr. Pennyworth came back with Tim's pills and they checked out, Tim was hoping to just go home and spend the rest of the day in bed with Alvin. He honestly didn't know if he could handle anymore weirdness and figured that laying in his bed would limit the strangeness As they walked and Tim fantasized about his bed, Tim stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of a girl with bright green skin and flaming red hair. He knew that it was a hospital and she might be trying to get help, and that it was extremely rude to stare, but she was so staring at him first!

"Tim!" She called out to him.

"Who are you?" He asked her as she ran up to him. Alvin looked down at him confused.

"Who are you talking to, Tim?" The question struck Tim hard.

"Don't you see her?" Tim asked, gesturing to the girl in front of him.

"See who?" Alvin looked even more concerned than ever.

"The green girl!" Tim was now freaking out. He looked around and sure enough, not one person was looking their way. A girl with skin that green from head to toe would attract SOME type of attention.

"Tim, there's no girl there," Alvin put his hands on Tim's shoulders to steady him.

"Tim, I'm right here, please you need to listen to me!" The girl begged. Tim's gaze was pulled from her to Alvin when his boyfriend gently redirected his head using a finger on his chin.

"Look at me Tim, tell me what's wrong, I can fix it. I'll protect you." Alvin's voice was steady.

"Tim, please! You need to wake up, you have to do it yourself!" The girl pleaded even more so.

"Tell me what you want, Tim. Let me protect you." Tim gave one last glance at the girl before looking back to Alvin.

"I want to stop seeing things. I want to stop forgetting," he answered.

"Done." At Alvin's word, the girl's begging had stopped. Tim chanced a look around and couldn't see her anywhere.

"She's gone!" He gasped in amazement. He looked back at Alvin just as his boyfriend's knees give out. "Alvin!"

"Sorry. Just, um, let's go home, uh." Tim helped Alvin stand and the two made their way home.

Finally home, laying in their bed, Alvin seemed to be about to pass out, Tim could understand, he was just on the verge there with him. He didn't want to think about all that had happened recently. Things had been so weird lately and Tim was actually looking forward to going to work the next morning for a good dose of normalcy.

For the first time in a long time, Tim actually felt himself drift into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

When Tim woke up that morning, he turned over slightly to find Alvin was still asleep, pressed tightly against his back. Tim had to smile at that. No matter how strange things had become lately, Alvin was always by his side. As Tim became more aware, Alvin also started to stir.

"Morning," Tim greeted him, "I'm guessing there's not going to be any coffee made yet?"

"Sorry, I was exhausted," Alvin grumbled as he rolled over to get up. Tim instantly missed the warmth and decided to follow him to get it back.

"I have work today," Tim reminded himself out loud. "I don't wanna go to work today."

"Yes you do, you were muttering about how you couldn't wait all last night. Even in your sleep," Alvin was still grumbling. "I know cause it kept me up."

"Oh, sorry." Tim had the decency to feel sheepish at that. Alvin hadn't had that great of a weekend either.

"It's alright," Alvin rubbed at his face before he smiled at Tim, "besides, your work ethic is cute."

"Coffee before flattery." Tim put a hand to Alvin's mouth before rolling himself out of bed.

After a groggy morning, Tim and Alvin made their way to Wayne Enterprises to get started on a long day of work. Tim loved that Alvin worked in one of the cubicles just behind his desk. It was like he could always depend on Al to have his back, even in the middle of a hectic day at work. As Tim settled in his desk chair, a tall shadow loomed over his desk. Tim looked up to see Mr. Bruce Wayne himself, looking too happy to see Tim. It made Tim groan. He refrained, of course, and gave his boss a pleasant smile.

"Hello, Mr. Wayne, how can I help you?" Tim asked. Internally he's shouting at the man. 'I haven't even turned on my computer! I haven't checked my email! At least let me start my coffee!'

"Tim! I'm so happy to see you," Mr. Wayne exclaimed, "I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work Friday. I know that couldn't have been easy for you at all." Tim was nearly taken aback. Mr. Wayne never went out of his way to appreciate Tim's hard work. Tim had been working his ass off for this company for years! Tim narrowed his eyes. This could only mean that Wayne was about to ask for a favor.

"Thank you, Mr. Wayne. It was definitely a haggaring day," Tim replied.

"But now you're back from the weekend, well rested and ready to take on the world, right?" Bruce asked with a hopeful look.

"For the most part, I suppose." Tim was having trouble keeping his suspicion out of his voice.

"Great, so I was hoping, . . ." Bruce started in and Tim nearly slammed his head on his desk, until the carefree look on Mr. Wayne's face shifted into something dark, something serious. Tim frowned, it wasn't a look he had ever seen on his boss before. Except, something about that statement seemed wrong. He'd seen this look, he was too familiar with it. It was the look Bruce got when he was feeling loss.

"M-mr. Wayne?" Tim stuttered. "Are you alright?"

Bruce Wayne didn't reply, he seemed to just keep looking at Tim with that dark stare. The weirdest part was how the look pulled at something in Tim, telling him to go over and embrace Bruce, give a comforting touch to his arm, something. Tim didn't know where it came from but he just knew he had to say something.

"Bruce, I'm alright." He didn't know why he felt like that was the comfort his boss needed, but it seemed to do the trick and snap Bruce out of it. The dark stare shifted into sullen shock.

"Tim. Tim are you-?" Bruce's voice seemed unsure. Tim felt lost. What was even going on?

"I'm okay, Bruce." Mr. Wayne started to reach out to him just as someone from behind Tim put their hand on his shoulder. Tim jumped and turned to see Alvin. Al was smiling at Tim and Bruce, but something about the smile seemed strained.

"Sounds good, right Tim?" He asked. Tim was shocked, what did that have to do with anything? He looked back to Bruce to see that Bruce was smiling that dumb, irritating smile, that always made Tim want to slam his three ring binder in his bosses perfect, bleached teeth.

"What?" Tim asked. Alvin frowned down at him again and Bruce just laughed.

"Thanks a ton, Tim!" He called out as he left, rapping his knuckles on Tim's desk once as he passed.

"Wait, what?" Tim asked again.

"Tim, are you alright?" Alvin leaned down, looking concerned, and put a hand to Tim's forehead. "Tell me what's wrong, I can fix it. I'll protect you."

"I think I need to go home," Tim whimpered into Alvin's shoulder, "My head is starting to hurt."

Alvin didn't say anything, he just held Tim and began rubbing soothing circles into Tim's back. The wrongness feeling was now back stronger than before. The sense that he was missing something staring right at him in the face was becoming over powering. He was having trouble breathing, his shaking hands were fisting in Alvin's shirt, and there was a tingling in his spine that threatened to grow more and more. Finally Alvin pulled Tim out of his chair and picked him up bridal style. Tim just held onto Alvin as his boyfriend carried him home. There was a moment where he felt like there was nothing but Alvin. There was no 'surroundings', no in between 'work' and 'home', nothing. Tim didn't want to think on it. He wanted to keep focused on the feeling of Alvin around him. Tim buried his face in Alvin's shoulder and held so tight he was moderately worried he might hurt him.

Before too long, Alvin brought Tim into their apartment and set him down on the couch. Tim curled in on himself and held his hands to his head. Alvin sat in front of him, looking terrified. Tim wished he could ease the look form his boyfriend's face, but there was precious little he could do. The Alvin bit his lip as he thought.

"Tim. Maybe you should give your brother a call?" he suggested.

"Jason?" Tim asked. Alvin nodded, gabbing the phone from the coffee table. He dialed the number and handed the phone to Tim, it was already ringing. Tim took the phone and moved to curl up next to Al. Alvin instantly wrapped a hand around his shoulders. The ringing seemed to go on forever before it finally ended.

"Jason?" Tim called out to the open line. There was a long silence before he heard someone move on the other end of the line.

"Baby Bird?" Jason's voice called back. Tim felt a bit of relief hearing his brother's voice. "Baby Bird, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, Jay." Tim sniffed as he spoke. "I, I'm sorry I just-"

"Hey, it's alright Tim, stay with me." Jason's voice grew steady, clearer.

"It's getting harder to think, Jay, I'm so confused," Tim confessed.

"It's okay, Tim, just keep talking to me, alright, we can work through it together. Alright."

"I don't know," Tim's voice trailed.

"Come on. If anyone knows about working through mud to get some mental clarity, you know I'm your guy."

"You're right," Tim admitted. "Things are just so wrong."

"What do you mean 'wrong', Baby Bird." Jason was obviously trying to help Tim talk it through.

"I don't know. It's getting hard to think," Tim repeated.

"What do you mean, Timmy, in what way?" Jason asked with a patient voice.

"It's like, like-" Tim was finding it hard to speak now too. He was noticing his voice was getting weaker and weaker.

"What, like math problems or something? Don't worry about it, you were too smart for your own good anyway. Dumbing you down might be good for me," Jason joked. Tim felt a small smile twitch at the corner of his lips.

"No, I mean," Tim had to take a deep breath, he was starting to feel sluggish. "Like I'm stuck in a broken dream." Tim saw Alvin avert his eyes at that.

"Then the answer is simple Baby Bird." Jason's voice was even and confident.

"Yeah?"

"You just need to wake up."

"What?" Tim felt his stomach drop.

"Well, you're in a broken dream, right? Then wake up." Jason spoke as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Tim nearly laughed, but his throat felt too dry.

"How?" Tim asked.

"Maybe you could try talking to your 'other half'," Jason suggested.

"Alvin?" Tim looked over to his boyfriend. Alvin was staring at the floor, eyes filling with tears.

"Uh, yeah, Alvin, see if he can clear some things up for you. See if he'll help you wake up." Jason's voice started to break up near the end. By the end, the call dropped and Tim dropped the phone.

"Alvin, what did he mean?" Tim asked.

"Why can't you just let me protect you, Tim?" Alvin asked back, his voice breaking up.

"Alvin?"

"Please, Tim, just let me protect you." Tears were now spilling over Alvin's eyes. Alvin's hazel-blue eyes. Tim drew back as he actually looked at his boyfriend. Tim took in Alvin's dark hair, his facial structure, the small scars that were nearly impossible to see. Tim realized that he was looking at a mirror of himself. Alvin was him, his eyes, his hair, his scars. "Tim please, you never let me protect you. You never let me fix things. You won't ever take care of yourself!" Alvin was nearly sobbing now.

"Alvin?" Tim slowly stood and took a step back. Suddenly he could see it, the giant billboard. Alvin Draper; that was Tim's name. It was the name he gave his friends before Bruce trusted them enough to let him tell them his real name. "You're not, you're not real," Tim gasped out the realization.

"Tim, I'm you," Alvin corrected.

"What?"

"I'm your subconscious. I'm your self-preservation. I'm that small voice in the back of your head that wards you against bad ideas," Alvin clarified, "and you never let me protect you!"

Tim stumbled a bit in another step back as his real memories came to him. Memories of a lonely home, of a third birthday that started wonderfully before ending in tragedy, of following the caped crusader and his colorful side-kick, of taking pictures from dangerous heights. He remembered a change in heroes, the grief as that new hero was lost, fighting to save what his heroes started, becoming a hero himself, ignoring that voice that told him to hide when he chose to fight.

Tim fell to his knees, "Why, why all of this?"

"You're in pain, Tim. It was the first time in years you let me help you." Alvin moved from the couch to kneel next to Tim. "You couldn't get away from the pain and you turned to me. I will protect you, Tim, I will always protect you. But you have to let me." Alvin reached out as if to lay a hand on Tim's shoulder, but he kept at least an inch of space between them. "But you've been fighting me almost since the moment I saved you. You kept trying to wake up. If you wake up Tim, you'll be in pain."

"But this is," Tim didn't know how to finish his thought.

"It's broken, I know," Alvin helped him, already knowing what Tim meant. After all, he is Tim's subconscious. "It's broken now because I'm still getting the hang of it. It's like any other muscle. But with time, with time I know it can be perfect! You won't have to miss anyone, they'll all be here! Your mom, your dad, Steph, Kon, all of them."

"But they need me out there," Tim argued.

"You're in too much pain out there. You're always in too much pain out there." Alvin was getting visibly frustrated.

"Alvin, I'm sorry, I can't stay here," Tim tried again. "You protected me from the pain, and I'm grateful, but I need to get back to the real world. They wouldn't be trying so hard to get to me if they didn't need me.”

“Tim, you can't do anything for them,” Alvin pointed out. “You won't be able to do anything with the pain-”

“The pain will subside, Alvin, I need to be there for my family,” Tim interrupted Al.

“The pain never subsides, Tim,” Alvin reminded him. “It never stopped hurting after Mom died. It only got worse when Dad followed. And Steph, Kon, Bart, Ariana, and Jason, all their deaths are still a pain you hold next to your heart even though they came back. Bruce, Dick, Damian, every death you've had to grieve or disprove. Every lost life. You'll never be able to love without loss out there, there will always be pain.”

Tim nearly faltered at the list. Had he really lost so many people? Sure most of them came back, but Ariana, his mother, and his father, none of them were coming back. There wasn't a possible way. But he felt himself move before he even knew what he was about to do. Alvin seemed unsurprised, of course, as he must have known what Tim was about to say before Tim did. Without giving himself a chance to think it over, Tim took Alvin's face gently in his hands and looked him in the eye.

“Alvin, I promise, I will get help. I will talk to someone professional. I will slow down with Red Robin and put you on top priority,” Tim tried to keep his voice even as he spoke. “But I can't keep you as my only priority. I need to be there for my friends the way they were there for me.” He couldn't promise that he would stop being a hero. He couldn't promise that he wouldn't hurt anymore. He was making promises he knew he could keep.

“Please Tim, don't do this,” Alvin begged.

“I need to go, Al,” Tim insisted.

Alvin didn't speak anymore, he just let his eyes slip closed and nodded quietly. Tim pulled him into a tight embrace as he felt himself get extremely tired suddenly. He felt his muscles work to tighten around Alvin, but his grip ultimately weaken. Alvin was sobbing into his shoulder non-stop now.

Tim was now completely leaning against Alvin as he felt his eyes close. His breathing was already evening out and there was a pain in the back of his head that reached all the way down his spine. The pain was growing, but it wasn't nearly as bad as previous times where he was almost conscious. There was a dull ache in his arms and legs that was steadily growing as well.

“Good-bye, Tim.”

* * *

When Tim started to open his eyes, he instantly noticed Jason hovering over his bedside. As soon as Jason saw Tim open his eyes he switched into 'big brother' mode. It was a big secret that Jason even had a 'big brother' mode, as he was very adamant that he didn't give a rat's ass about his replacement, or his replacement's replacement. But there was a 'big brother' mode to Jason, and it was currently brushing Tim's dark hair out of his face and gently holding Tim's shoulders.

“Timmy, you awake there brother?” Jason asked, his voice was so soft, it was almost like he was afraid that if he was too loud he'd startle Tim back into a coma.

“Yeah,” Tim croaked out.

“What do you remember? I mean, this is where you start asking questions that makes it kinda obvious that you've got some memory problem or something, right?” Jason was rambling, it was part of him being worried.

“You're name's Jason, our older brother's name is Dick, our younger brother's name is Damian, we have a sister Cass, and our adoptive father Bruce. How close am I?” Tim was trying for a joke but the relief on Jason's face took the mirth out of it. “What happened? I mean, I remember I went into the old Wesler Refinery for a simple recon. I was, ambushed?”

Jason nodded as he started to answer Tim's question, “Bane was hiding away with about six dozen paid mercs. Most of them were out-of-towners, way out of town, as in 'illegally in the country' out of town. Pretty certain it was a meeting between the Russian and the Mexican Mafia. You were ambushed and out numbered it's insane you're still alive.” The way Jason trailed off made Tim look up at him.

“How did I survive?” The way the question made Jason flinch, Tim knew it was the correct question to ask, even if he was suddenly regretting it.

“I was close by to your position, making a mess out of an illegal mass gun drop by the docks. I saw Bats and Demon spawn making their speedy little way toward the abandoned refinery and figured I pester them since I was done with what I was up to.”

“Because that's always a welcome distraction.” Tim rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, it was lucky for them I did. I didn't catch up until they were well inside and what do you know, they fell into the same trap you did.” Jason gave a big sigh, “sometimes I wonder if Bruce was any better at avoiding hostage situations than we were. You know, when _we're_ the ones held hostage?”

“So you were able to jump in and even things out?” Tim asked, pulling Jason back on topic.

“Well, yeah. I was able to provide some cover fire from a distance, and since he hasn't mentioned it once since then, I'm thinking Daddy Bats was secretly relieved for it,” Jason winked. Then his expression grew a bit dark. “When we found where they were holding you, uh, well,” Jason trailed off again.

“What?” Tim pressed. He honestly couldn't remember what happened after he was first ambushed.

“Well, Baby Bird, they, ah, crap, they were keeping you alive for entertainment, maybe a bit of interrogation before they realized it was useless. It was bad, Tim.” Jason stopped looking Tim in the face as he spoke.

“What were my injuries?” Jason sighed at Tim's inquiry and stood up. Tim was worried he was going to leave for a brief moment, but relaxed when Jason just grabbed the clip-board by the bed. “Tompkins?” Tim asked, the handwriting didn't look like Leslie's at all though.

“Bruce had to out source. Thankfully, Alfred was able to call in a full non-disclosure favor from an old army buddy from the east.” As Jason explained, Tim looked over the report.

Something told him the reason Bruce had to out source was because of the extent of his injuries were well beyond the family doctor. His knee's were shattered and implants had to be put in, same for his elbows, ankles, wrists, pretty much any major joint they could find. Multiple stab wounds, the blade used had been serrated and pushed in slowly. Third degree burns, broken bones, all his phalanges had to be realigned, from the report, Tim could only imagine the sight of him when Bruce, Damian, and Jason found him. Tim put the report down and braced himself for his new starring role as Frankenstein's Monster. He slowly pushed the bed sheets down and slowly pulled his tee-shirt up. Strangely though, the wounds didn't look too bad. In fact they looked long since healed over. Tim was confused for a moment before multiple conclusions jumped into his head.

“Did you call Raven to heal me up?” Tim asked, looking up at Jason again. Jason who was looking away from him.

“N-no, Timmy, we didn't call anyone.”

“Then why are my stitches all out? Where are my casts? What about my burn wounds?”

“They healed themselves naturally, Tim.” Jason took a deep breath and sat back down next to Tim, taking his younger brother's hand in his own. “Tim, this is going to be hard to hear, but, you've been in a coma, for ten months now.”

Tim felt the blood drain from his face. He was in a coma for ten months? The last thing he remembered was from August. Ten months would put him in May of the next year. He missed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines day, and St. Patrick's Day. He missed his own birthday, and Bab's, Damian's, Cassandra's, Bruce's, Dick's, and Alfred's. Ten months was a lot of time to be asleep for.

“Tim, hey, you need to slow down, you're hyperventilating.” Jason was moving so that he was sitting next to Tim and holding the younger man. Tim would be a young man now, he was no longer a teenager. He slept through his twentieth birthday. Suddenly the image of his sleeping body with a party hat surrounded by his own birthday party came to the forefront of his thoughts. Tim gave a small chuckle at the image and it helped calm him down a bit. “Tim?”

“Sorry, I just. Please tell me Dick 'Weekend at Bernie's' my birthday?” Tim asked. Jason looked at him strangely before he started to bark out a laugh.

“You know, now I wish he did. Steph might have suggested it though. I'll have to ask,” Jason smiled and held Tim, rubbing soothing circle's on his arm.

“Where is everyone?”

“They're probably either out in the cave or up in the manor,” Jason replied.

“Think you should let them know I'm awake?” Tim suggested. Jason loudly sigh, rolled his eyes, and pulled out his phone.

“I'll text them. With that be enough?” Jason was already typing it out on his cell as he spoke. “I don't really want to leave you when you _just_ woke up. Besides, I think Bruce is being a moody asshole again and you know how well I deal with that.”

Tim chuckled lightly before a thought struck him. He waited for Jason to put his phone away before asking what might be a touchy question. “Jason, not that I'm not happy about it, trust me, you were probably the best person to wake up to, but-”

“But why, oh why the hell am I still here after ten months?” Tim nodded, slightly grateful for Jason finishing off the question for him. Not a touchy subject then, cool. “I didn't want them to leave me out of the loop. Dick insisted that they wouldn't freeze me out as soon as I left, but Alfred refused to promise to keep me updated. I'm pretty sure I got played, then again I wouldn't put it past Alfie to avoid calling me just to prove how serious he was.”

“Alfred does seem to like it when we keep close to home,” Tim hummed. He was about to contemplate how warm it made him feel that Jason would put up with a home he hated just for him, but before the thought got too far, the sound of a stampede echoed in the cave.

“TIM!” Suddenly Tim was tackled by something blonde and something ebony. Taking a moment to deduce whom was currently trying to love the air out of him, Tim cam to the conclusion that it was Dick and Steph.

“Morning,” Tim greeted them hoarsely from under their weight.

“For Christ's Sake, let the healing man breathe,” Jason called from behind them, physically pulling the two off of Tim. When he was able to see more than black and yellow again, Tim saw that the whole family was there; Bruce, Damian, Barbara, Dick, Steph, Alfred, Cass, and Jason.

“Hey,” Tim said timidly, unsure what to say, “I'm up.”

“And we are elated by this news,” Alfred responded with a gentle smile and tears in his eyes.

Bruce stepped forward to Tim's side, across from Jason, and put a hand to his shoulder. “Welcome back, Son.”

~The End~

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, as soon as I finished the coma dream sequence, I honestly had no clue how to finish the story off. It kinda got away from me, . . . Hope you enjoyed!


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